So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
even my farts smell like vagina
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You have to summon your inner elephant
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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