I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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