her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
