you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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