don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Enjoy the penises
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
