some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
