LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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