hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
