is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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