butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize