She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
