she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
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dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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