If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
