I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
