ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
