So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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