remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
