why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
