Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
