Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I am in a vortex of obligation.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
