i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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