I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
