What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
and you fell through a lawn chair
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
