he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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