Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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