just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
