You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
