The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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