I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize