i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
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then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
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You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Damn victory sex feels great
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
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