you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
