Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
