Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
