Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
