if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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