We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
