his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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