She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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