Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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