i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
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yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
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I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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