im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
