Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
