What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
