i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
