I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
This is my gift to your gina
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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