There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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