My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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