I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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