So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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