Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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