you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
