Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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