Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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