Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
