I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
