U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
