the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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