I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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