The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
