No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
