I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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