Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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