i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
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does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
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dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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