Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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