been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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