The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
