After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Two words: blizzard sex
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
